Another day full of battles

I didn’t end up writing yesterday due to not thinking it would be worth a post. Yesterday was one of the better kinds of days where I get little things done here and there. Today though is a complete different story. It is pretty consistent for me to feel the worst as soon as I wake up, and today was the same thing. I always wake up to kiss my boyfriend goodbye as he goes to work and he can almost always tell how exactly it is I’m feeling based on that moment in the morning. I thought maybe after I went to the bathroom, I would feel better especially with the new stomach-emptying medication I started. Wrong. So once again I have a day of nothing but trips to the toilet and my bed to cuddle me all day. Nothing gets more tiring than figuring out exactly how to fill your day when you don’t feel good enough to get up and the 8 inches of snow that has fallen this week is keeping you from doing really anything. These are the days where the stress and guilt really get to me. All I can do is sit there and think, and that turns into hours of scouring the internet for a legitimate online job that pays enough to actually pay my bills. The constant stress of how I’m going to buy groceries, pay utilities, pay rent, cat food, litter, etc. etc. I could go on forever since the whole world relies on flimsy paper to survive. Without a constant income and not working 8 hour days, or even 1 hour days, I never know how exactly we’re going to pay for the things in our life. Then comes the stress of not finding any of these elusive jobs that supposedly make you hundreds of dollars per week or whatever bullshit offer they end up feeding you. So that’s what today ended up being, stress on top of sickness that never goes away.

This post feels like a waste and more-so just complaining than anything useful. But at the end of the day, I guess that is why I created this blog in the first place. So today sucks, and I’m hoping tomorrow will be better. There’s always something positive to look forward to even in the worst days and today, it’s just that I hope tomorrow is better. Not always does it have to be an exact one thing, but always be positive about the bigger picture. In the end everything always works out somehow, even when you truly think it won’t. So if today sucks for you, I’m hoping tomorrow is better for you too.